Wellbutrin - Day 1

I visited my therapist yesterday and broke the news to her that I took myself off of the prozac because I started to feel really lethargic and it was making it so I got nothing done around the house or work or anywhere.

We talked for a little bit and after some convincing she decided we should try Wellbutrin because it helped me when I was depressed in the past. It does nothing for anxiety but I still have the xanax in case of emergency. On the plus side its supposed to help me lose weight (yeah right) and is supposed to help me focus better.

Today was my first day on it and for the next three days I am only taking 150mg and after that I bump it up to 300mg.

When I went to the pharmacy they said my insurance company had a little issue with me taking that pill because it is expensive on their end I guess (even though I get the generic) so the pharmacy has to contact my doctor who has to contact my insurance company to explain/convince them I need to take that medicine in particular. If she cannot convince them I will end up not being able to pick up the prescription because we won't be able to afford it.

 

Therapist M.D. - Prozac & Xanax

This morning was my meeting with the M.D. to see if I would be put on medication for my anxiety. Of course nothing can be done easily, my car ride to Brandon was insane because I am battling with traffic and people are all around trying to kill each other. When I do get there after filling out a couple pages worth of patient information they tell me that I have to be recommended by my primary care physician otherwise they will have to charge me the full amount. Now I do not now nor have I for a while had a primary care physician. I had to call up my insurance company and ask them (after two attempts at getting through to someone) that I am seeing and M.D. Psychiatrist and I do not have a PCP so am I going to get charged, she of course said no and that the co pay was $15. Now I have a bad feeling that this will end up coming back and biting me in the butt and I will end up getting billed for a couple hundred bucks down the road. But what I am hoping is that they recorded the conversation and have it on file, which I know is a long shot.

My appointment was scheduled for 8:45 to meet with the doc (had to be there at 8:15 to fill out paperwork) but of course I had to ask them how much longer it would be once the clock hit 9am. Not even two minutes later the doc poked her head out and I was in the room talking to her.

She seemed very nice caring straight forward asked appropriate questions. (very much NOT like my last visit). I felt pretty comfortable with her. I have another meeting with her in 6 weeks and until then she has prescribed me prozac and xanax as needed.

Now I was suprised about the prescription for Prozac and I didn't really want to be stuck on taking a pill every day but she did mention that it may help me lose weight have more energy in the morning and it will help with anxiety. The bad news is that it takes 6-8 weeks to take effect. I have heard some pretty bad stories about prozac too which is a little scary. For the time being I am just going to see if my attitude changes (for the worse) and let her know what is up.

The xanax I pretty much knew I would be getting. Its mainly there as a "break glass in case of an emergency" if my anxiety start to realy flare up during the day. Again I can deal with having an anxiety attack at home but I am worried like crazy that I will have one at work and they will fire me or something crazy like that.

I am also hoping that either of these medications will allow me to concentrate better at work and motivate me to get my work done. Whether either medication will actually do that is still a mystery.

So far I have taken a half of a xanax just to see how I would feel. (a half of a .5 mg dose) I feel just kind of sleepy like when I don't get enough sleep and my eyes are droopy, thats about it though nothing special or bad.

I just hope in the long run this will straighten me out a bit until the money situation is more under control.

Therapy Session = Bad First Date

Yesterday at 7pm I went in for my first counseling session with a therapist. And lets just say that went TERRIBLY! The guy was nice enough by all means just completely useless as far as my anxiety is concerned. I didn't want to get into my past but I did a little. He asked me some general questions, took some notes, and tried to make me feel comfortable. It just ended up feeling like a bad first date where there was not connection made. He said that I should concentrate on my breathing when the anxiety starts up, breathing from my diaphragm and not my chest and sssslllllllloooooowwwwllllyyy letting it out... I could have looked this up on WebMD! not to mention I was already taking deep breaths when I can, I say when I can because sometimes it gets so bad I can't even catch a full breath.

 His other suggestion to me was to tense a muscle group for a while and then release it and this should help with muscle tone as well as the anxiety... not a terrible suggestion, again one I was already aware of, but if I am tense throughout most of my body to begin with I again don't think that will be too helpful.

And that was it. That is all he suggested for me...

No medication no nothing. On top of it all he also said that he doesn't think he will be seeing me again. Uh... WHAT?!?! He said I have very realistic reasons for having the anxiety I have and I am doing everything in my power to resolve them. I should focus on the fact I have someone wonderful in my life and try to focus on something else when my mind starts to spin about finances. Again, not bad advice just not particularly helpful either.

I just felt at the end of the session that it was just such a waste of my time.

I talked to Justin a little last night and a little more today and he said he would call up his psychiatrist for me along with his therapist and see if maybe they can help. I am really hoping they will be able to.