Happy Happy Joy Joy (Sushi, teeth, jobs, haircuts)

As my title states, I am quite happy at the moment. Everything went very smoothly yesterday when Curtis talked to Mike about becoming a Sushi chef at his restaurant. In fact I can safely say it went better than smoothly and much better then I could have hoped for. Curtis officially starts working there and learning next Friday. He will be working every Friday and Saturday until this semester is over and after that he will will be working there 5 days a week!!! :D *does happy dance*

Now at the beginning he will not be earning tips because he will still be learning and it is only 7.50 an hour BUT they said he can still keep his job at Gamestop which means when the summer rolls around we are going to literally be rolling the money in. (At least I hope). After he has been there for a while he will of course start getting tips and Mike's promise was along the lines that he will be getting a raise here and there as he progresses. I know this is however going to cause Curtis quite a bit of stress because he will be learning something new and Mike being Japanese will not have certain courtesies when it comes to teaching as American's do.

Oh and MORE great news if Curtis continues to work at the Sushi Restaurant on Fridays and Saturdays it means he and I will be working together. Now I have never worked with Curtis but he and I already had a discussion on the matter last night. We both agreed that as affectionate as we are with one another when we are together and talkative that will not be the case for either of us when working. Its one of the things I love about him and about us, when it comes to work we both get down to business and do everything needed to get the job done. I am still way curious though as to how that's all going to work out. Curtis will also be working in the back where I wash dishes and prepping food and things like that, basically learning how to cook their way.

AND because he got the job it meant Curtis would have to get a hair cut. His hair was down to his shoulders. I say was because as soon as I heard he will be starting Friday (Me thinking this Friday and not next Friday) i arranged a hair cut with a stylist at the salon I go to (Somers Salon) that same day. Curtis got his hair cut last night in other words. Because I referred him I got $20 off my next session AND his hair cut was completely FREE! I tipped the girl big time because MY GOD does he look good. I mean I always thought of Curtis as a handsome attractive man but this hair cut really brings out his features. The stylist did SUCH a good job. I just wish I brought my camera with me at the time. I am going to take pictures tonight and post some tomorrow or later in the week.

His teeth are coming along quite well too. He is in a bit of pain right now, he said it was around the socket for the tooth he got pulled. I am a little worried it got infected or something from whatever he ate but more than likely he is just not taking his pain medication like he is supposed to be. They gave him oxycontin but I don't think its taking the appropriate effect.

He goes back to work tomorrow and for the rest of the week. His spring break is officially over. I feel bad for him because he had such a busy/painful week but at the same time once school is over he is no longer going to have these week long breaks, its going to be work work work every day of the week.

I guess I should update a little on me. I have been sleeping very restlessly lately and I am thinking about switching my prozac back to taking it in the morning. I am still super tired come around lunch time and I even took a nap in my car yesterday on my lunch break. I do however feel a little better as far as the anxiety goes, still taking xanax as needed but its very rare and I still have 24+ pills left from the original 30 I was prescribed. I need to start watching what I eat again too because I put on a little weight and lately it seems like all i can do in my spare time is stuff my face. I just need to take action and start heading to the gym and just watching what and how much goes down my mouth.

Other than that I am pretty freaking happy. Things seem to be going well and I am of course paranoid something is going to go terribly wrong and ruin it but I am at least trying to enjoy the ride for now.

Anxiety/Prozac/Teeth/Apartment Hunting Update

So its about day 4 on Prozac for me and I haven't really noticed a whole lot of difference other then shear exhaustion.

On Friday I did my normal 8 hour work day and went straight to the sushi restaurant to wash dishes till 10:30pm. Came home pretty tired but the girl I work with at the Sushi restaurant (Kate) had been feeling really down so I invited her over. We had a few shots of rum (I only had about 3) and we ended up staying up till 4:30 am. At some point along that time we made a trip to Wal-Mart and picked up a couple of steaks which tasted quite bad actually and cooked those up on the stove with some mushrooms. Kate's cooking was good just the quality of the meat was bad. Curtis at that point was asleep on the couch so I put him to bed. Kate and I stayed up talking for a bit before she left.

Kate being silly:

The next morning I was tired but slept in some. I can't really remember what all we did that day but I know Curtis had work and so did I at 6pm again washing dishes. I was really exhausted that day too. I went to work and just kind of felt awful. I hurt my back lifting dishes and I had to ask for some motrin and I left my Xanax in my other purse which did not help seeing as my anxiety was flaring up. It seems like on top of making me exhausted the 10 mg last till a little after 8pm and that's it. They sent me home at 10:15 which was normal.

When I got home I just laid on the bed and Curtis being Curtis of course rubbed my back to make it feel better while I was half unconscious after taking a Xanax as soon as I got home. Well my back felt better after a little rubbing and I went to wash the stink of the kitchen off of me. I got out of the shower wrapped my hair up in a towel along with my body and it felt really cold because the fans were blowing (we live in Florida so its already getting to be 80 degrees in the house) so I crawled underneath the quilt on my bed to curl up just for a minute and before I knew it I was OUT, literally like a light. I mean someone flipped the switch and I was dead to the world. I know I pretty much was out like that because when I woke up it was at like god knows what early AM I had taken up the middle of the bed and Curtis was sleeping on my side of the bed half curled up. I was shocked I had just passed out like that. I unwrapped my still damp hair threw both the towels on the floor made Curtis switch spots so we were in our normal positions and just fell right back to sleep. Curtis told me the next day that he was gently shaking me trying to make me get up but that I didn't even respond. Now THAT NEVER happens. If someone so much as touches me for the most part I wake up startled. If Curtis is moving around the bed too much I tend to wake up.

Sunday rolled around took my normal Prozac in the morning and spent the day with Curtis for the most part since he didn't have to work, and neither did I. But again, all day long I was soooo exhausted! It didn't help come Monday I was still just as tired.

So last night we switched it up and I took the Prozac (still only 10 mg) last night. I was still a little tired this morning but not nearly as bad as yesterday however I am feeling a few small waves of anxiety coming around. I am trying to avoid taking a Xanax today if possible, I really don't want to end up getting hooked or something. In a couple of days my dosage will be up to 20 mg so it will hopefully last all day and not make me completely exhausted either. As far as moods go nothing seems to have changed at all really.

On a whole different note, only one week till Curtis sees the dentist! wooo!

On yet another different note:
It looks like our jerk roommate Charlie is going to move in together with his girlfriend and two other friends once the lease is up and I am now thinking about trying to convince them to move into the apartments we are in now so that way Curtis and I can just move out into our own place. A couple of problems arise with that though. One will the apartment complex let us sign our names off the lease and allow the other guys to put their names on it. Two Curtis and I will have to have some money saved up so we can pay the deposit/security/turn the electric on etc. And I REALLY don't want to have to use my damn wedding money for it. Third we need to find a place NOT in the ghetto for around 650-700 dollars that has a washer dryer hook up and is close enough for his work, my work, and his school. He really doesn't like driving long ways which is part of the problem. Oh and of course in the mean time we would have to find time to pack with both of us working and him going to school. So yeah... not sure how great that would work out. What I would really like is to find a house that we could rent but I know that is REALLY stretching it. First and foremost I have to see if the room mate will even go with the idea.

Where to begin? My 4 Day Weekend (Day 1)

Lots happened over the course of my 4 day weekend. I haven't yet decided if I am going to cut this into shorter multiple posts or just make one giant post with pictures.

Day 1 (Friday)

Well this day was sort of like any other in the sense that Curtis and I woke up at the butt of the morning and then we headed to get my teeth x-rayed and cleaned. I didn't have nitrous like I did last time so I was awake for the cleaning and I am NOT going to be doing that again. It worked the last nerve I had. There is just something about the dentist that makes me very uneasy.Come to find out I only need one filling and possibly two more if I don't start taking better care of my teeth. They scheduled me for Monday at 2:30pm which means I don't get to go to school with Curtis.

After the cleaning we grabbed lunch somewhere at Checkers (SUPER unhealthy) and then we headed to go look at puppies and kittens. None of the kittens really caught Curtis' eye so we didn't get one. We keep looking but he hasn't fallen in love yet with that special cat. I already have a cat Yuki:

and while Curtis loves her to death she really is my cat in the long run. There has been one cat we keep seeing at the Humane Society in Clearwater called Zach that he likes but adoption fees right now are at $55 which is a bit out of our reach. I have been thinking about going back there and just picking him up as a surprise for Curtis but when we move (which won't be till October 1st) we will have to pay double the cost of the pet fee and some of the pet fees are nuts!

After that we went home I relaxed a bit while Curtis practiced for the show that night. Friday was the first day of DOA, and my first time at DOA (Dean Owner's of America {if you own a Dean guitar you are in the club}).

When we entered the Kapok Pavilion I was AMAZED! I SUPER want to have my wedding there! I mean just look at some of these photos:

Curtis ended up getting a call right before we left asking to do two more songs. He did the first without a hitch though I have to say the singer was not very good at all and he did the second one okay too but the singer did horribly on that song! And come to find out the other two songs Curtis was supposed to do the drummer was missing for one song and Curtis spent like three months practising the wrong song for the last one. Oh well, we still had a great time.

We also saw a pretty good band there, thought the make-up was a bit much for me, Cadillac Freaks They were probably one of the best performances next to Michael Angelo Batio. We got some good pictures too but I am not going to post all those on here. We didn't get home till a little past midnight but we were both exhausted and had to be up the next morning to tour the Dean Guitar Factory.

All in all a great day and an amazing time. It was the first time I got to see Curtis perform and I am by far his biggest fan!

Therapy Today

So today is my appointment with the therapist. Only 2.5 hours till work day is over and then only 3.5 hours till I go have a chat. *sigh*

I really don't feel like bringing up my past if its possible, which really its not. I just want some medication that will make my anxiety go away for the time being. As soon as I have this money situation more under control it won't be such a big deal. But with teeth, wedding, car, moving, etc. on my brain 24/7 its starting to get to me. I know I shouldn't even be thinking about moving until 2 months before the end of September but its like I can't help myself which is exactly why I want something to calm my brain down a little. My big concern though with taking any medication is that I am going to end up looking acting and feeling like a zombie which for my job is not going to work seeing as they hired me to be "perky".


It looks like we might get even MORE money back from Curtis's insurance plan which is great news but not guaranteed.

I had a long chat about religion with a co-worker which was nice she siad she would keep us in her prayers which I also thought was nice of her to say.

I need to be able to focus more at work. I need to get more work done. 

Good News - Dentist!

YEAY!!!

So I got off the phone with our dentist after having a long and rather embarrassing talk about how we can pay almost all of the bill up front except for about $320. We have to pay the full $6,767 up front two weeks prior to him receiving the oral care because they are going to sedate him. Now we have scrounged up just about every penny we can muster, including both of our tax returns and we are both selling things on ebay to make up for the last little bit. I have someone who is buying some of my clothes on top of it all. So we are TRYING!

So the lady on the phone said it was okay if we pay the large amount and the last little bit the day of the surgery, so I as SUPER relieved. But THEN! I got a phone call from them and she said she would waive the cost of the sedation!!! I almost jumped through the phone and hugged her. The sedation fee is only $235 but its something! a BIG something! She also told me that Curtis' insurance runs out February 28th, so I don't know what all that is about but I don't want to bug Curtis just right now about it to see what is going on because he has so much on his plate with work and school, especially school.

In the mean time my doctor's appointment is tomorrow and I keep trying to find part time work for Curtis and myself, on top of the jobs we already have. No such luck yet but still this bit of news totally brightened my day!

Money - Dentist

So Curtis is not getting as much money back from his loans as I originally thought.

I asked him the other day if he would mind for us not to get married just yet and pay for his teeth out of pocket. I told him I understand that if getting married is the only way we can fix his teeth that I would understand but I really would like a wedding. So right now we are still not getting married and we are trying to come up with around $6,500 to pay for his teeth. Now I think we are well withing our means to be able to do this its just a matter of how much of it do we want to try and finance and through what company.

I think he should go to our bank at Suntrust and see if he can get a decent sized credit card there that has free interest for like the next 12 months so we can pay the whole thing off before interest hits. Right now he has one card but the limit is a whopping $500 (it actually might be less). My big concern is that he won't be able to get a bigger card because of how little he makes every year. I'm worried the credit card company will not consider his loans as a part of his income. I guess we'll just have to wait and see on that one.


The Dentist also gave us the option of having everything with his teeth fixed in one big swoop and wanted to know if we wanted sedation dentistry. I think its a good idea but then we have to pay up front two weeks in advance, and fill out paper work. Another option is that we just give him nitrous but I am sooo worried about all the pain he is going to be in.


We are going to talk about how all to pay for this, one way or another his is going to get it done even if it means paying out more from my own pocket. What I am really hoping is that they give him a good credit card so he can start building credit, pay it off month by month till is next line of student loans come in, pay of the remainder with the student loans and poof we will not have to worry about the card. The only thing at that point we will have to worry about is how we are going to pay for the rest of his school if he does run out of loans over the next year.

Debt and Anxiety

This seems to keep happening to me at least once a week...

I sit down and start counting my nickles and dimes (okay mainly pennies) and it just doesn't add up. I have to pay off my two credit cards before Curtis no longer gets loans from school in which case he will have no way to pay for rent, I have to try and save $4,000-$5,000 for a wedding I would like to have sometime this year, and I need another $10,000 to fix curtis' teeth.

Now the credit cards aren't be cause I am some irresponsible slob, I owe about $9,500 total, one card was used to pay for things during my time in college and the other help pay for my gastric bypass. I have been paying slightly over the minimum on each since I have gotten the cards but stupid me keeps buying things here and there like gas for the car or a pizza. I think I am going to have to take the plunge and cut up both of the cards. Now if I continue making the same payments as I am now I will have both cards paid off in about 5 or so years... that is not in time before Curtis runs out of money. I am currently paying $160 a month on one card and $130 on another if I can reduce my monthly bill by 300 bucks I think I would be able to carry a small apartment for the both of us if Curtis can't find a full time job right away.

We are moving out of the apartments we are in at the beginning of October so yes we are WAYS off from that but I also know that Curtis has the rent paid up until that time.

So the goal is to find an apartment that can fit all of Curtis's stuff and my clothes and is in a somewhat decent neighborhood not too far away from his school or work (I work in Tampa so it doesn't much matter) all for around $650 bucks... Now I know I can get an apartment for that amount. I know I can get an apartment for that amount and have it be a good size, I am NOT sure if I can find an apartment (or house but that is pushing it) for that amount that size and in a good neighborhood. I know no matter what the apartments will not be as nice as the ones we are in now but I do NOT want to live in the ghetto. I don't want to live there because 1) its the ghetto and 2) I know I will just want to move again in a year which I really want to stop doing. (I moved almost every year since I've come down to Florida and I have been here since the 3rd grade).

Now the wedding is partially paid for, we have about $2,000 saved up, or we will by the end of this month. I applied to a telemarketing part-time position (YUCK) but I haven't heard back from them as of yet. So we will see if that pans out at all.

As far as Curtis' teeth go I think he will have to end up going to a dental school and have it done little by little because I just don't think I can handle getting into even more debt at this point.

If I could just get rid of my car too that would help. I have a 2010 Toyota Yaris that I am paying $280 a month on and another $172 for insurance.

There has got to be a way to do this I just need to figure it out. Until then my anxiety levels have been sky rocketing. I am not as sweet to  Curtis who doesn't deserve me being like that and I just overall feel depressed. Now this mood comes and goes but I am tired of it popping up almost once a week to two weeks. I just need to figure out how to make more money and make it VERY quickly. Or at least within the next few month.

Teeth and Rings

Okay so I am beyond stressed out right now!!! I'm at work and I just want to break down and cry. First off my Ex-Fiance Geoff wants the ring he gave me back (which in a way ins understandable) because he lost his job and now needs to turn it in so they don't come after him for it. I am very sad to lose the ring and it was kind of my only insurance policy in case something terrible happens so I kind of feel like the tiny little cushion I had is now going to disappear.

I know I told him I would give him the ring back if he asked for it and I am going to keep my word but it hurts my feelings too, I know I should be over it and just move on but I had to give up another ring he gave me so we could get this one.

I think for at least a little while he and I won't be speaking. I'm sure he feels bad for having to take the ring back but I don't care. He should have had some money saved up or something in case of an emergency. *sigh* I feel like if one more thing goes wrong today I am going to flip out. I half feel like I should just take the rest of the day off because my nerves are on edge. Its only 10:30 right now and I know I should just hold out as long as I can.

The bigger issue is Curtis' teeth. He finally went to my dentist this morning only to find out that his insurance only covers $500 a year worth of dental work. How much dental work does he need? Oh just over $10,000. He said he is going to go to his bank and see what they can do for him but really its pointless because someone who makes only $9 an hour and works part time is not going to get a loan that freaking big from his bank not without like a 28% interest on it, but really I just don't see the bank giving him the loan. I just have no idea how we are going to afford all this, really we can't. And his poor mouth is going to rot away and are just going to get worse.

Even though he is getting money from his school loans even that is not going to be enough to cover this expense. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about it. And once again I feel like fate is telling me not to have a wedding because I am going to have this enormous bill to pay. I know its not like the bill will be my sole responsibility but I just feel so helpless and I hate that.

I just don't know what we are going to do. Poor Curtis probably feels worse than I do. I know he just wants the problem with his mouth fixed already.

I don't know how much more of this I can handle...