*Grumble* Stupid Freaking Diet *Grumble*

I'm weak... very weak... when it comes to sweets. I have been "off" my diet for like 5 days now, not really saying screw it to the whole thing but basically eating sweets on top of my normal healthy eating. 


So far I have gained back 1.5 pounds after consuming almost a half a dozen cookies yesterday and finishing the day of with two taco supremes from Taco Bell *gag*. Now I know that 1.5 pounds is not a huge deal but then again  this morning I went down stairs for breakfast instead of eating my greek yogurt like I am supposed to. What did I get? a ham and cheese croissant AND a twix (even though I promised Curtis no sweets for the next two days). In all this just means I will be end up gaining weight again tomorrow morning. I could just go work out and work all of it off but I may end up having to work at the restaurant tonight and realistically I freaking HATE working out. 


I just wish I knew what was wrong with me! Every time I step on the scale and gain weight from not eating right I feel so bad I end up eating more and the cycle just keeps going. To top it off we have a birthday in the office tomorrow and the day after which means I will have a cookie cake in front of me one day and another cake in front of me Thursday. The best I can really hope for is that since everyone will be watching I will be to embarrassed to eat it because I told everyone I am on this diet. Its not even like I can excuse myself from the celebrations because I am the one who has to pick up the cakes whenever we have a birthday in the office. so... UGH!


At this point what I am hoping for is that I can just stick to my diet for the rest of the day and maybe tomorrow and if I do get called in that I can possibly work off what I ate from running around in the kitchen. 


Another sad part of all of this is that I think I partially did it because there is a girl down stairs in the cafe that is always nice to me and talks to me and asks me questions about myself. I don't know if I have mentioned this (though I am sure I have) but pretty much no one at work talks to me... like ever... At best they will ask me to do something for them or ask me about my weekend just so they can tell me about theirs. Then if I do try and strike up conversation with others I just feel like I am annoying them and at points they don't even bother so much as to raise their head or turn around to face me. *sigh* I guess its just been an all around frustrating week in general.