Update

I've been taking my prozac every night and so far I guess its working alright. I am not as exhausted all day and I don't get nearly as irritated as easily as I used to which is a good thing. But the past two days I have not gotten very good sleep at all. Though part of it could be from the crappy weather we have been having. I very rarely ever take the xanax now mainly because it puts me straight to sleep. Its something I will have to discuss with my therapist along with the fact I am taking the prozac at night and that I am worried its going to cause me to gain weight. 

 

Curtis's Dentist is STILL working on his teeth. He has a 4th... or is it 5th... appointment at the end of April. They still have two crowns to do and I think something else but I'm not sure. Luckily all of this is already paid for so outside the cost of gas driving all the way to Tampa all those times its not that bad. 

It also appears that our room mate's friends and girlfriend will NOT be moving into our apartment, allowing Curtis and I to find a new place. Charlie (the room mate) broke up with his girlfriend (or she broke up with him I didn't get all the details) for a 3rd time since they have been dating for 6 months. We'll see if this break up actaully lasts or if its just going to be like all the others and they will just end up back together. Regardless if they do or not one of the guys who would have had to move in with Charlie is against the idea of all of them moving in together, and frankly I can't blame him. But of course that means Curtis and I will be stuck in that house with the room mate till the first of October. *sigh*

The weather has been absolutely horrible the past couple of days. Today we had multiple tornado warnings and I was grateful that my drive to work wasn't too bad and it wasn't pouring down rain (like it is now). All I have to do now is make it back home safely in my tiny little car as I drive across 60 hoping the wind doesn't blow me into the gulf. On the plus side I don't have to drive all the way over to the sushi shop today in this weather. We weren't exactly going to be flocked with customers anyway, though it kind of stinks cause thats hours and tips that I am missing out on. Oh well I will get to wash dishes tomorrow, and hopefully they won't send me home early. 

Speaking of sushi I have been eating it like a crazy person lately. Mainly just salmon avocado rolls but still. Its not exactly cheap, it doesn't help me save for the wedding, its just that its soooo freaking yummy!!! something about the flavor combo of those two things with the rice, seaweed, and then sesame seeds on top that makes it nearly irresistible to me. Nearly being the key word. I will not be partaking in sushi-ness tonight (especially with this weather) and the fact i don't have to serve it and be around it all day is going to help quite a bit.
 

Don't Panic, Where is my towel?!?!

So I just found out that because they are remodeling my fiance's GameStop it will be closed for around 6 months! I am freaking out, I know its early for that and all but still. He said that they will be sending him to different stores but I have this horrible feeling that he is going to be out of work. I am so worried that the money we saved for the wedding is going to have to be spent. I don't have the heart to tell him to go look for another job in the mean time but what else am I supposed to do. He has to work at the Sushi restuarant at least 30 hours a week and that will only being in 210 dollars every two weeks, its barely enough to pay all of the bills and leaves no extra money for gas or for food. I don't know whats going to happen but I am definetly freaking worried at this point, and trying not to panic.
 

Weekend Update

Well my second day as a waitress and getting full tips did not turn out nearly as well as I would have hoped. The restuarant wasn't as busy on Friday (when I was waitresssing) or Saturday (When I was washing dishes). I got just slightly more than half of what I took home Thursday. Then Saturday we ended up being so dead that they sent me home early. It was really a blessing in disguise because it meant I could relax and get all fancied up for when we all went out after work to Ocean Blue. 

That Saturday I also ended up going to Sakura's Birthday party. Sakura is 2 years old and the grandaughter of the two owners of the sushi restuarant I work in along with the daughter of Joe another waiter guy who I work with (and can't really stand). I felt pretty awkward being there and I didn't stay long because I was meeting Curtis for lunch as usual. I also saw one of the guys from High School there that hung out with the group of guys my boyfriend at the time hung out with. He got fatter, I  was amused but I also didn't feel all that great about myself because I am still not the size I want to be. Then again, I am also not doing jack crap about my current weight so I need to shut up or get my butt rolling. 

Later that night when we all went to Ocean Blue Grant who I haven't seen in 8+ years came by. Now he has never been very social so he literally drove from Tampa to Clearwater to smoke two cigs outside while we chatted and just left. He didn't come in to say hi to anyone and he didn't want a drink. I thought it was nice of him to drive out all that way but at the same time if you haven't seen me that long do you think you could at least stick around for a while? Oh well he is moving back down here to Florida so I guess I'll have other opportunities to see him. 

 

Sunday was my first full day off in three weeks. I relished in it by pretty much not doing anything other then my nails. (no those are not my tooties in the picture) I painted them a light pink with red polk-a-dots so it looks like I have chicken pox on my toes. 

Monday I took the day off from work from job one and job two is closed on Mondays so I was going to take that time to write my paper on Prostitution in Thailand but I got all of about 5 sentences out of me. I spent the better part of the day just napping and byt the end of it I felt kinda blah because I never left the house that day and all around got absolutely nothing done. I did however managed to paint the nails on my hands. I found this incredibly annoying neon pink nail polish and basically gave myself a french manicure but instead of painting the tips of my nails white I painted them pink. They need another clear coat cause they got messed up while I was sleeping and I know the minute I jump in the shower they are just going to peel off but it was nice feeling girly for once. Its been forever since I did my own nails. Part of the reason I don't do them much is because I am ridiculously meticulous and at the same time the nail polish always ends up too thick on my nails so I have to start all over again.

I am now back at the grind again but this week and the following weeks are not going to be nearly as bad. I only waitress Thursday and this Saturday and after this week only on Thursdays. I will still be washing dishes on Fridays and Saturdays and I will be on call when they need me but its going to feel nice to start getting into a routine again, who knows maybe I can finally start putting a workout into this routine and stick to it.

CHA-CHING!!!

Yesterday was my first official day of waitressing and getting my full 40% of tips for the night (while training I was only getting 10%) and talk about a difference! I mean WOW! So we had 4 guys from the New Jersey Nets come in and order a TON of sushi (they were big guys though so thats to be expected) well they also graciously left a HUGE tip! I was ecstatic. Not to mention I have never been that close to a real athlete before. I was pouring it on a little thick but I guess it worked. They ended up tipping me and the sushi bar. We later that night had three Hungarian girls come in with their two guys friends. They are the dentist to Mike so they got a free meal but they too left a great tip. Plus it was really good to chat with them. I kind of got in trouble at the end of the night because I kind of got in trouble at the end of the night because of it but I still say it was worth it. The only thing that's really been a problem for me at the restaurant is that I HATE, and I don't use that word lightly, HATE vacuuming.

For some reason I am always stuck between the two of us, being the one that vacuums. I mean the area to vacuum isn't even all that large or anything its just that I freaking hate vacuuming. All things considered though I guess its not that bad. And again the tips were freaking amazing last night. I am actually getting off of job one early so I can help out more today since we are expecting to be even more busy then we were yesterday. In total I walked out last night with $98 in cash in my purse. I am hoping I walk out with just as much tonight if not more. Granted I will only be waitressing one day a week on average unless someone calls in sick or needs a day off but still that's an extra $100 bucks in my pocket if the day is good on top of my minimum wage salary AND all pretty much tax free. ^-^ That actaully ends up coming out to more then I am making right now at job 1 which is a little scary. Though with benefits and days off job one wins hands down.

Smoking Rant

Okay so this is going to be quite the rant but I need it out of my system. 

We have a lady at work lets just call her Mrs. S and good god does she stink! I mean everyone is required to smoke outside of our office building (10 feet away though no one really follows that rule) so you would think that her clothes would air out and there might be a light wiff if you get too close. NO! the minute this lady walk on the elevator the entire elevator stinks even after she gets off. Whenever she approaches me I shudder knowing the stench is about to reach me. And then she is there and she literally smells like the bottom of an ash tray. Now I grew up in a house with my mom smoking everyday IN the house so I know part of me should be used to this but after moving out of my mom's place I guess I have just gotten used to the smell of fresh clean non smoke cigarette ash filled air. The thing that really kills me though is that she is not the only one in our office that smokes we have another lady Mrs. D who goes down 2-3 times a day to have a cig and when she comes back up she smells just fine, I mean I would have to get VERY close to her just right after she got back from smoking to notice anything. So this makes me wonder what kind of ever loving cigarettes is this lady smoking that is making her stink up the whole office. She has her own room in the office and the room even smells. The smell of smoke just attaches to everything and its terrible. I have to stop myself from gagging and still try to keep a cordial smile on my face while she is talking to me. Hard to do when at the same time I am trying to hold my breath.

*gags*
 

So Considerate :D

So last night I come home from my third 14 hour day and WHAT a surprise! There is a parking spot RIGHT in front of my apartment building. This is amazing because lately whenever I come home (at around 10:30pm -11pm) all the spots in front of and behind the building are taken so I have to go park by the office. now this isn't a huge deal the walk is short but it was just SO nice to have that spot and walk straight up my stairs for once, especially after a long day.

Well come to find out the reason that the parking space was open was because Curtis on purpose left it open and parked behind the normal spots. I instantly gave him a hug and a thank you. Its these little things that remind me just how considerate he is and how much I love him.

Workey work work of workdom

So today is officially my third day of working 8:30am - 10pm/11pm. I am definitely tired and my muscles are starting to ache a little but all in all not too bad. Both Tuesday and Wednesday were somewhat quiet. We had a small steady stream of customers. Of course I messed up here and there but nothing too big. And more importantly nothing involving money. They expect today to be slow as well since it St. Pattys day and well a sushi restuarant is not really the end all and be all when it comes to green... well green anything except for the tea maybe.

The restuarant, is saw last night, has decided to make a new sushi roll called the Tsunami roll and all of the proceeds will be going to help the people in Japan. I thought this was a great idea and I wish there was something more I could do other than just give them money but I guess every little bit helps.

Job 1 so far has been even more of a bore this week because everyone is at the health conference so there is a max of 4 people in the office. I actually did a test with a sewing pin dropped it on my desk and asked the lady who I work with if she could hear that and she said yes, so it has been proven you can hear a pin drop in this office, its THAT quiet.

While I am not too exhausted at the moment I did end up taking a nap in my car both Monday and Tuesday. I am thinking about taking another nap today but we'll see.

Today is also my third day in a row wearing a white button up shirt and after the first day I have managed to get them all stained up *knocks on wood in hopes I don't get crap all over this shirt before work*.

Tomorrow Curtis and I work together (though we won't be speaking to each other). His teeth are still bugging him which has me worried. he goes to the dentist on the 29th again so hopefully they will take a look and tell him everything is okay. He finds out about his bio exam today too and I am keeping my fingers crossed he did well. He studied so damn hard for the thing I am just hoping it proves to him the hard work will pay off. Plus all in all I just don't want to see him upset.

Looking Forward to Job 2

 

(Okay so this picture is SO super cute! It totally reminds me of me and Curtis. Though i haven't seen the anime Maid-sama I still really like this picture)

 
I find it slightly odd that I am about to leave job 1 and head to job 2 and I am actually looking forward to it. I mean I know its going to be a long night, I know I am still going to be nervous, I will undoubtedly be exhausted, and I know I will at one point or another screw up. But in a way I find it... I don't know if exciting is the right word, just, glad I guess that I am with people that talk to me and take an interest in seeing me do well. I don't know if I have mentioned this or not (I probably have) but there is hardly ever anyone from job 1 that talks to me and we have close to 30 people in the office. I try and start conversations but they die pretty quickly and I just feel awkward in the end for even opening my mouth. So maybe that's why I am looking forward to tonight.

Or who knows maybe I am just crazy.

We'll see if I still feel like this after the 3rd day in a row I do this, really I will be going straight from one job to the next for the rest of the week... sheesh!

Hello Singapore!

I apparently have a small audience in Singapore and a couple of other places around the world, so I just wanted to say hi! And a hello to Portugal and Russia people, feel free to follow me if you are enjoying what you are reading.

I Won the Office Wet T-shirt Contest!

So of course today I have to wear my white button down top to work so I can go straight from job 1 to job 2 and what do you know! Not even 10:30am and I managed to get pen on my boobs without so much as taking down a message. I grabbed breakfast from down stairs and signed my name so I am guessing this is where the trouble started. Luckily one of the girls in the office knew that Windex WITH ammonia would get out the stain. She even had a handy towel around so I can scrub my boob (the shirt on top of it I mean) till most of the pen stain was out. Now I am walking around the office and it looks like my boob sprang a leak. Hopefully it dries soon but until then I am the all time winner of the wet t-shirt contest AND the how fast can I ruin a perfectly nice shirt contest.

I am a... Receptionist/Dish Washer/Waitress/Cook/Fiance/Student.... and the list goes on...

So my first day at my third job (can I really call it a third job since its at the same sushi restuarant but just a different title?) didn't go too bad. I was WAY nervous and I did make some mistakes as was expected, nothing major just little things like forgetting to give them their little bowl to pour the soy sauce in and I was late bringing out a families miso soup.

Curtis and I went shopping the day before to get me another pair of black pants and some white button down shirts (the uniform required for the waitressing job). Now I am unfortunately (and I use that term lightly) top heavy so finding ANYTHING that is a button up and fits both my top and my waist is hard to come by. After going to 4 different locations we finally found a whopping TWO tops. Needless to say I will be going back out again after work today to see if I can find like one or two more because I know I am eventually going to stain those shirts badly. I have to say though it was very nice to not have to wash dishes. I helped prep food when I first got there and made some food for myself. They always feed us dinner which I think is very nice of them (and no its never sushi).

I also found out that instead of only getting $20 for the week that I am working I will be getting my regular salary of minimum wage plus 10% tips while training. And while that may sound sarcastic I am thrilled about it. It was a little hard watching the other server (who is an awesome guy) walk away with like $95 worth of tips and me with all of $11 in my hand but everyone has to pay their dues and after 7 days of training I will be making I believe it was 40% in tips. So either way I am a happy camper.

I'm working 7 days a week now. I don't know if they are going to want me to come in  as much as I am on the week of training but if so I am going to be one exhausted kitten. I will be making a decent amount of cash which is great but already not having my one day of the week, Sunday, to myself I felt I was a bit more grouchy then I needed to be to poor Curtis.

Speaking of Curtis, he and I start working together starting Friday... weee... He is still in pain from where they pulled the tooth which has me a little worried and he keeps getting headaches almost every day which REALLY has me worried. He says he is going to go get checked out by his doctor if he can schedule something for Friday morning but both of us are going to be so busy this week and the next couple of weeks that its going to require a LOT of time management to get everything we need done around the house, school and work without driving each other nuts in the mean time. So far he and I have had a very good way about doing this but with these extra jobs and finals are coming soon its really going to get piled on.

I think part of the reason I haven't actually gone partially crazy yet is because of the prozac. I don't know if it is keeping me happier or more calm or what but as long as I get one day off I seem to be okay. I'm hoping that if I do start working 7 days a week regularly my body and mind will just adjust and make it so it doesn't stress me out. I mean people all over the world work 7 days a week so I should be able to with no problem right?

1 Carat princess cut Diamond Engagement Ring

(yes that is actually my ring)

So first let me just say YEAY someone finally noticed my ring without me having to say, oh look I'm engaged. I know that is probably petty but damn it I'm in love and I'm going to marry the man of my dreams and everybody better freaking notice the fat rock he put on my finger! - that is all...

 

Day-to-Day

Yesterday I got a really nice compliment from one of my bosses, technically he is my boss's boss. He said "Hi, Rita. I heard you are a powerpoint goddess. True?" This not only made me blush but in all it felt great hearing it. I had just finished up a project for another of my bosses (I have many people above me) that involved making the pictures of graphs on a powerpoint into actual graphs he could manipulate. I had to do some handy work in microsoft paint as well but it all came out great.

I have dish washing duties tonight at the restuarant. There is one part of the road that I have to cross right when I get out of work that makes me ALWAYS feel like I am going to get into an accident and there is no way for me to go around that part of the road without being late to the second job. Its just nerve racking. Thank god I only have to do it once a week. I don't know how commuters manage doing every day.

It doesn't look like the room mate is going to have his friends move in with him after all. He now no longer wants to be with his girlfriend but also does not want to break up with said girlfriend because of the physical part of their relationship. Which means Curtis and I are stuck with him and his smell (cigarettes) till the first of October. I just really hope there are going to be some good (and cheap) houses on the market when the time does come. I don't know what the room mate is going to end up doing about moving but frankly I am not sure I care a whole lot either. We all need to live our own lives.

Curtis finally got some decent hours at his first job I think partially because one of the guys quit (we think it might be because of stealing). But of course it the week that he has an exam in his worst subject: bio. So hopefully with much studying and reading this test will go more smoothly then the last one, which apparently everyone did terribly on.

Speaking of homework. I need to start writing that 2500 word paper on Thailand prostitution, no I am not joking its for a sociology class I am not taking, also not joking. I need to get more sources for the paper and then I think I can go ahead and start writing it. Its not due till the end of next month but still I want to try and not wait till the last minute.

Happy Happy Joy Joy (Sushi, teeth, jobs, haircuts)

As my title states, I am quite happy at the moment. Everything went very smoothly yesterday when Curtis talked to Mike about becoming a Sushi chef at his restaurant. In fact I can safely say it went better than smoothly and much better then I could have hoped for. Curtis officially starts working there and learning next Friday. He will be working every Friday and Saturday until this semester is over and after that he will will be working there 5 days a week!!! :D *does happy dance*

Now at the beginning he will not be earning tips because he will still be learning and it is only 7.50 an hour BUT they said he can still keep his job at Gamestop which means when the summer rolls around we are going to literally be rolling the money in. (At least I hope). After he has been there for a while he will of course start getting tips and Mike's promise was along the lines that he will be getting a raise here and there as he progresses. I know this is however going to cause Curtis quite a bit of stress because he will be learning something new and Mike being Japanese will not have certain courtesies when it comes to teaching as American's do.

Oh and MORE great news if Curtis continues to work at the Sushi Restaurant on Fridays and Saturdays it means he and I will be working together. Now I have never worked with Curtis but he and I already had a discussion on the matter last night. We both agreed that as affectionate as we are with one another when we are together and talkative that will not be the case for either of us when working. Its one of the things I love about him and about us, when it comes to work we both get down to business and do everything needed to get the job done. I am still way curious though as to how that's all going to work out. Curtis will also be working in the back where I wash dishes and prepping food and things like that, basically learning how to cook their way.

AND because he got the job it meant Curtis would have to get a hair cut. His hair was down to his shoulders. I say was because as soon as I heard he will be starting Friday (Me thinking this Friday and not next Friday) i arranged a hair cut with a stylist at the salon I go to (Somers Salon) that same day. Curtis got his hair cut last night in other words. Because I referred him I got $20 off my next session AND his hair cut was completely FREE! I tipped the girl big time because MY GOD does he look good. I mean I always thought of Curtis as a handsome attractive man but this hair cut really brings out his features. The stylist did SUCH a good job. I just wish I brought my camera with me at the time. I am going to take pictures tonight and post some tomorrow or later in the week.

His teeth are coming along quite well too. He is in a bit of pain right now, he said it was around the socket for the tooth he got pulled. I am a little worried it got infected or something from whatever he ate but more than likely he is just not taking his pain medication like he is supposed to be. They gave him oxycontin but I don't think its taking the appropriate effect.

He goes back to work tomorrow and for the rest of the week. His spring break is officially over. I feel bad for him because he had such a busy/painful week but at the same time once school is over he is no longer going to have these week long breaks, its going to be work work work every day of the week.

I guess I should update a little on me. I have been sleeping very restlessly lately and I am thinking about switching my prozac back to taking it in the morning. I am still super tired come around lunch time and I even took a nap in my car yesterday on my lunch break. I do however feel a little better as far as the anxiety goes, still taking xanax as needed but its very rare and I still have 24+ pills left from the original 30 I was prescribed. I need to start watching what I eat again too because I put on a little weight and lately it seems like all i can do in my spare time is stuff my face. I just need to take action and start heading to the gym and just watching what and how much goes down my mouth.

Other than that I am pretty freaking happy. Things seem to be going well and I am of course paranoid something is going to go terribly wrong and ruin it but I am at least trying to enjoy the ride for now.

Blonde Hair Blue-eyed American Sushi Chef?!?!

 
So while washing dishes at the Sushi restaurant it occurred to me that the last time Curtis and I ate there Mike had mentioned needing another sushi chef and how he needs someone smart and does Curtis know anyone like that. Half hinting basically if Curtis wanted the job. At the time it was out of the question, Gamestop was giving Curtis plenty of hours and the sushi chef spot only paid minimum wage.

Well lately GameStop has only been giving Curtis between 16-20 hours a week which is bringing in all of about $200 dollars a paycheck which is barely enough for him to survive off of. It was okay before but since he now has a credit card he has to pay off for the dental stuff and one last months worth of rent to pay, the bills are kind of piling up big time. Not to mention that their store is about to go through being remodeled. This means that the two stores that are in the mall are going to become one and all the employees (or at least most) are going to get separated and distributed among the rest of the stores in the area. That ultimately means that Curtis is probably going to get even less hours than he is getting now. Plus with the store being closed for the remodel that means less hours again. Apparently there will be at least one week where he will be working 40 hours which is awesome (thought he is going to go nuts with school going on at the same time).

SO! with all that going on and my brain on fire because I really hate the thought of not having a steady income I spoke to Iako (Mike's wife) who works in the back with me as a cook and asked her if the position was still open. She has a hard time understanding English so I was hoping my point went through. She said she would talk to Mike about it and a little later in the night she told me that Curtis would have to quit GameStop if he wanted the position.

Now THAT is the hard part. Curtis is getting health insurance through that job and is making more than minimum wage which is what he would be paid starting out as the Sushi chef. Not to mention Curtis all around likes working there (but mainly when the numbers are good). So... here comes me and my trying to convince him. Yes he would lose the insurance if he quits the job however once he and I are married he will be going on my health insurance anyways so its not going to matter. He is getting most of his dental work done now so that part is already used up. His inhaler doesn't cost that much and he can get another one before the insurance runs out. Now comes the money part. If he does only make 7.50 an hour as a sushi chef he should still be getting tips, this means that as long as he works an 8 hour shift he only has to make 12 dollars in tips that night to make it round up to him making 9 an hour. Not to mention the tips would be tax free.

Well after explaining all that to Curtis he still doesn't want to let go of GameStop (ugh!) but he has some good reasons behind it. First off as the sushi chef Curtis will only be working part time with Mike on certain days. So that may end up as even less money then he is making now. Mike's Sushi is also closed on Mondays which means he could at least work at GameStop on that day.

Now all of this will be easy in the summer time when Curtis is out of school my big concern will be what is going to happen to his classes and his grades once he starts the Fall semester back up again with this many hours.

Mike also said something to me while I was putting dishes away, he said Curtis keeps his promise and I keep my promise. I'm not exactly sure what that means but Curtis will be talking to Mike this week Wednesday. Curtis did actually talk to him some over the weekend while a bunch of us at the restaurant were out at another sushi bar (one that serves sushi till 3am!) The problem was Mike was a little intoxicated at that point and I was hanging out with our group so I wasn't aware of much of the conversation. Mike did however offer to buy me a drink and to put my tab on his card which I greatly appreciated. Curtis got a bottle of Sake which was actually quite good and I got my usual Jagger bomb. I had to start order Curtis food because he was gone VERY quickly. Mike ended up leaving and kissed the three girls there on the cheek (one being his daughter and one being me). We ended the night with a drink called an oatmeal cookie which really did taste like an oatmeal cookie but boy did it have a kick after wards.

Curtis and I went home and both of us were pretty happy but very tired. I can't quite remember if it was that night or the day before that he said something to me along the lines of Mike's is going to have a blond hair blue eyed sushi chef, that's funny. And I think if this does work out its going to be freaking awesome.

Sleepiness and Boredom

I am sooooooo bored at work! I really need to find something to distract my mind with but with being on the meds concentrating on just about anything is nearly impossible. I just realized this morning as I got to work that oh hey I was supposed to pay the rent... UGH! I called Curtis up like 3 times trying to get a hold of him but of course his phone was on vibrate in his pocket. He took a check over there for us and luckily they were nice enough to not charge us anything extra (this one time).

This is SO unlike me. If there is anything I am good about its paying the bills on time.

I just want to sleep!!!! I mean seriously, just sleep and sleep and sleep. I have been getting a normal 7-8 hours a night so its not like I am missing out but all my body seems to want to do is nap. The only other time I felt like this was when I was actually depressed. But my mood is okay, I still have ups and downs which are normal but the physical feeling is BLAH!

I am of course washing dishes again tonight, and might I add I REALLY don't want to. Its only 7.50 an hour which is basically an extra $30 I know its something and I know I should be grateful that we have this extra bit of income I can make but MAN feeling this tired is not motivating me to just get up put on a happy face and deal with it. Again, I just want to sleep. Like, a LOT. I'm pretty sure I could just crawl under my desk right now and have no problem falling right to sleep.

I can't wait till my next appointment with the psychiatrist I am half hoping she gives me aderall of just something to give me a boost or jolt or something. The anxiety is going away for the most part but this sleepiness is almost intolerable.

Tonight I bump up my meds to 20mg, we'll see if it makes a difference or not, I am just hoping it doesn't make me even more sleepy then I already am because I am just going to have to stop taking the drugs altogether if that happens. 

Anxiety/Prozac/Teeth/Apartment Hunting Update

So its about day 4 on Prozac for me and I haven't really noticed a whole lot of difference other then shear exhaustion.

On Friday I did my normal 8 hour work day and went straight to the sushi restaurant to wash dishes till 10:30pm. Came home pretty tired but the girl I work with at the Sushi restaurant (Kate) had been feeling really down so I invited her over. We had a few shots of rum (I only had about 3) and we ended up staying up till 4:30 am. At some point along that time we made a trip to Wal-Mart and picked up a couple of steaks which tasted quite bad actually and cooked those up on the stove with some mushrooms. Kate's cooking was good just the quality of the meat was bad. Curtis at that point was asleep on the couch so I put him to bed. Kate and I stayed up talking for a bit before she left.

Kate being silly:

The next morning I was tired but slept in some. I can't really remember what all we did that day but I know Curtis had work and so did I at 6pm again washing dishes. I was really exhausted that day too. I went to work and just kind of felt awful. I hurt my back lifting dishes and I had to ask for some motrin and I left my Xanax in my other purse which did not help seeing as my anxiety was flaring up. It seems like on top of making me exhausted the 10 mg last till a little after 8pm and that's it. They sent me home at 10:15 which was normal.

When I got home I just laid on the bed and Curtis being Curtis of course rubbed my back to make it feel better while I was half unconscious after taking a Xanax as soon as I got home. Well my back felt better after a little rubbing and I went to wash the stink of the kitchen off of me. I got out of the shower wrapped my hair up in a towel along with my body and it felt really cold because the fans were blowing (we live in Florida so its already getting to be 80 degrees in the house) so I crawled underneath the quilt on my bed to curl up just for a minute and before I knew it I was OUT, literally like a light. I mean someone flipped the switch and I was dead to the world. I know I pretty much was out like that because when I woke up it was at like god knows what early AM I had taken up the middle of the bed and Curtis was sleeping on my side of the bed half curled up. I was shocked I had just passed out like that. I unwrapped my still damp hair threw both the towels on the floor made Curtis switch spots so we were in our normal positions and just fell right back to sleep. Curtis told me the next day that he was gently shaking me trying to make me get up but that I didn't even respond. Now THAT NEVER happens. If someone so much as touches me for the most part I wake up startled. If Curtis is moving around the bed too much I tend to wake up.

Sunday rolled around took my normal Prozac in the morning and spent the day with Curtis for the most part since he didn't have to work, and neither did I. But again, all day long I was soooo exhausted! It didn't help come Monday I was still just as tired.

So last night we switched it up and I took the Prozac (still only 10 mg) last night. I was still a little tired this morning but not nearly as bad as yesterday however I am feeling a few small waves of anxiety coming around. I am trying to avoid taking a Xanax today if possible, I really don't want to end up getting hooked or something. In a couple of days my dosage will be up to 20 mg so it will hopefully last all day and not make me completely exhausted either. As far as moods go nothing seems to have changed at all really.

On a whole different note, only one week till Curtis sees the dentist! wooo!

On yet another different note:
It looks like our jerk roommate Charlie is going to move in together with his girlfriend and two other friends once the lease is up and I am now thinking about trying to convince them to move into the apartments we are in now so that way Curtis and I can just move out into our own place. A couple of problems arise with that though. One will the apartment complex let us sign our names off the lease and allow the other guys to put their names on it. Two Curtis and I will have to have some money saved up so we can pay the deposit/security/turn the electric on etc. And I REALLY don't want to have to use my damn wedding money for it. Third we need to find a place NOT in the ghetto for around 650-700 dollars that has a washer dryer hook up and is close enough for his work, my work, and his school. He really doesn't like driving long ways which is part of the problem. Oh and of course in the mean time we would have to find time to pack with both of us working and him going to school. So yeah... not sure how great that would work out. What I would really like is to find a house that we could rent but I know that is REALLY stretching it. First and foremost I have to see if the room mate will even go with the idea.