Sweet Thoughtfullness

So yesterday after an absolute nightmare of a day (read blog below this one) I come home do my usual searches online, see how my ebay sales are going, and wait for Curtis to come home from work. He is usually home by 9:30pm sometimes a little later depending on what all has to get done in the store. So I make a quick dinner for the two of us and wait patiently.

When he finally does come home all it takes is one look at his face and I know the day has been just as hard on him as it was for me. I do my usual routine of how was your day yadda yadda and I ask him if he had time to stop by his step-fathers. The reason I ask this is because his step dad is a jeweler and we found a one carat princess cut very clean diamond at his shop, the best part though is that he is selling it to us for ONLY $1,000 which when it comes to diamonds of that quality it is hard to get. My only concern with the ring is that the band is very thin and I worry about damaging it. We have looked at other bands and different settings and there is one setting I absolutely adore but it has more diamonds to it and it means its going to cost more money. So no matter what though I am going to LOVE that ring!

Okay okay so I ask him if he stopped by his step dad's because he needed to tell him to hold the ring for us and me being me I was very scared someone else might pick it up before we got it and he refused to leave a message with his step dad's mother-in-law. So he goes to tell me that YES he did stop by and not only that but he also put a down payment of $100 on the ring. Now at this point I am like HUH?!?!? Where did you get that money?!?!? (I know every dime that comes in and goes out of our house so it go me worried a little). Well he goes on to tell he sold the wedding bands from his prior marriage (which ended 4 and a half years ago).

I was in absolute shock, we are talking mouth open wide. I at no point asked him to get rid of the rings and I know it meant a lot to him to still have it. He actually made those bands himself when he was working with his step dad in the jewelry shop. I asked him why he did it and he said it was time to let go. I told him he didn't have to do that and he said, yes, I did. At this point I had tears in my eyes because yet again he proved to me how much I mean to him and how much he wants our life together to progress.

I am so lucky to have found a man like him. I have to keep in mind every day that no matter what struggles we are going to face in the future and I have no doubt that there will be plenty, we will get through it together.

I still can't believe he actually gave up the rings. I do have to admit it made me very happy in a sort of selfish way but he came to the decision on his own and that's what really makes the act so meaningful to me.

Teeth and Rings

Okay so I am beyond stressed out right now!!! I'm at work and I just want to break down and cry. First off my Ex-Fiance Geoff wants the ring he gave me back (which in a way ins understandable) because he lost his job and now needs to turn it in so they don't come after him for it. I am very sad to lose the ring and it was kind of my only insurance policy in case something terrible happens so I kind of feel like the tiny little cushion I had is now going to disappear.

I know I told him I would give him the ring back if he asked for it and I am going to keep my word but it hurts my feelings too, I know I should be over it and just move on but I had to give up another ring he gave me so we could get this one.

I think for at least a little while he and I won't be speaking. I'm sure he feels bad for having to take the ring back but I don't care. He should have had some money saved up or something in case of an emergency. *sigh* I feel like if one more thing goes wrong today I am going to flip out. I half feel like I should just take the rest of the day off because my nerves are on edge. Its only 10:30 right now and I know I should just hold out as long as I can.

The bigger issue is Curtis' teeth. He finally went to my dentist this morning only to find out that his insurance only covers $500 a year worth of dental work. How much dental work does he need? Oh just over $10,000. He said he is going to go to his bank and see what they can do for him but really its pointless because someone who makes only $9 an hour and works part time is not going to get a loan that freaking big from his bank not without like a 28% interest on it, but really I just don't see the bank giving him the loan. I just have no idea how we are going to afford all this, really we can't. And his poor mouth is going to rot away and are just going to get worse.

Even though he is getting money from his school loans even that is not going to be enough to cover this expense. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about it. And once again I feel like fate is telling me not to have a wedding because I am going to have this enormous bill to pay. I know its not like the bill will be my sole responsibility but I just feel so helpless and I hate that.

I just don't know what we are going to do. Poor Curtis probably feels worse than I do. I know he just wants the problem with his mouth fixed already.

I don't know how much more of this I can handle...