Hoping and Praying Everything Works Out

I am hoping and praying every day that things are going to work out. I just keep telling myself that if I just continue to work hard to be there and support the man I love fate will come back around and repay me for my efforts. Now I know it doesn't really work that way but I am trying my best to be a good person to the new people I meet and the ones I already know. I will never go back to the person I was a couple years ago. 

A year or so back and all through high school I was just a very angry person, or hot hearted as they would say in Thailand (yes I am still writing that paper and yes it has to get done by this weekend). I was mad at the world and everyone around me. It didn't matter if I didn't know you or if I have known you for a couple of years, I was just a pissy brat.

Through all my anger/depression/etc. I made it out with a few choice friends, one of which was Angie (who I think I can remember having all of 1 fight with the entire 8 years I have known her), a couple of exes are still "friends" but I use quotes because one is my friends unless he is seeing someone new then he won;t bring her around me until he knows for sure it will work out (or something like that) and the other ex will only hang out if it is me and him and still has a thing for me and doesn't want to be around my fiance which after almost a year of being broken up I think is a big fat load of ____.

But, getting back to what I was saying. I am hoping and praying that if I just keep at it just keep going, just continue to work multiple jobs and support my loved one it will work out in our favor in the end. He will get that high paying job and I will be able to stay home with the kids for a while. Now it has never been my intention to spend my life razing kids, I know I want to be in the work force but part of me would like just a couple of years to be able to stay home take care of the kids and maybe go back to school on the side. These dreams seem so far away now but I want to have faith in my soon to be husband's musical abilities and his ability to make it in the music industry. I know he has the talent for it its just a matter of landing that first job and rolling with it afterward.

I just have to be patient, keep my fingers crossed, be supportive, work hard, and maybe just maybe things will work out.