Monday, January 31, 2011
Debt and Anxiety
Labels:
anxiety,
debt,
deppresion,
insurance,
loans,
money,
moving,
rent,
stress,
student loans,
tampa,
teeth,
telemarketing,
toyota,
wedding,
work,
yaris
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
I'm Just Not that Into... Anything Really...
Labels:
babies,
coloring,
ebay,
embroidery,
family,
food,
grandparents,
hobbies,
husband,
interests,
kids,
love,
orchids,
parents,
photography,
relationships,
religion,
roses,
wedding,
yellow
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Teeth and Rings
Okay so I am beyond stressed out right now!!! I'm at work and I just want to break down and cry. First off my Ex-Fiance Geoff wants the ring he gave me back (which in a way ins understandable) because he lost his job and now needs to turn it in so they don't come after him for it. I am very sad to lose the ring and it was kind of my only insurance policy in case something terrible happens so I kind of feel like the tiny little cushion I had is now going to disappear.
I know I told him I would give him the ring back if he asked for it and I am going to keep my word but it hurts my feelings too, I know I should be over it and just move on but I had to give up another ring he gave me so we could get this one.
I think for at least a little while he and I won't be speaking. I'm sure he feels bad for having to take the ring back but I don't care. He should have had some money saved up or something in case of an emergency. *sigh* I feel like if one more thing goes wrong today I am going to flip out. I half feel like I should just take the rest of the day off because my nerves are on edge. Its only 10:30 right now and I know I should just hold out as long as I can.
The bigger issue is Curtis' teeth. He finally went to my dentist this morning only to find out that his insurance only covers $500 a year worth of dental work. How much dental work does he need? Oh just over $10,000. He said he is going to go to his bank and see what they can do for him but really its pointless because someone who makes only $9 an hour and works part time is not going to get a loan that freaking big from his bank not without like a 28% interest on it, but really I just don't see the bank giving him the loan. I just have no idea how we are going to afford all this, really we can't. And his poor mouth is going to rot away and are just going to get worse.
Even though he is getting money from his school loans even that is not going to be enough to cover this expense. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about it. And once again I feel like fate is telling me not to have a wedding because I am going to have this enormous bill to pay. I know its not like the bill will be my sole responsibility but I just feel so helpless and I hate that.
I just don't know what we are going to do. Poor Curtis probably feels worse than I do. I know he just wants the problem with his mouth fixed already.
I don't know how much more of this I can handle...
I know I told him I would give him the ring back if he asked for it and I am going to keep my word but it hurts my feelings too, I know I should be over it and just move on but I had to give up another ring he gave me so we could get this one.
I think for at least a little while he and I won't be speaking. I'm sure he feels bad for having to take the ring back but I don't care. He should have had some money saved up or something in case of an emergency. *sigh* I feel like if one more thing goes wrong today I am going to flip out. I half feel like I should just take the rest of the day off because my nerves are on edge. Its only 10:30 right now and I know I should just hold out as long as I can.
The bigger issue is Curtis' teeth. He finally went to my dentist this morning only to find out that his insurance only covers $500 a year worth of dental work. How much dental work does he need? Oh just over $10,000. He said he is going to go to his bank and see what they can do for him but really its pointless because someone who makes only $9 an hour and works part time is not going to get a loan that freaking big from his bank not without like a 28% interest on it, but really I just don't see the bank giving him the loan. I just have no idea how we are going to afford all this, really we can't. And his poor mouth is going to rot away and are just going to get worse.
Even though he is getting money from his school loans even that is not going to be enough to cover this expense. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about it. And once again I feel like fate is telling me not to have a wedding because I am going to have this enormous bill to pay. I know its not like the bill will be my sole responsibility but I just feel so helpless and I hate that.
I just don't know what we are going to do. Poor Curtis probably feels worse than I do. I know he just wants the problem with his mouth fixed already.
I don't know how much more of this I can handle...
Labels:
beach wedding,
dental,
dentist,
engagement ring,
exfiance,
finances,
interest rates,
money,
mouth,
rings,
stress,
teeth,
tooth,
wedding ring
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Now Where Did I Put that Wedding?
So I have no idea where to have the wedding.
NOT on the beach, I am well aware I live in Florida and the coast line is beautiful and blah blah blah, but if I am going to spend a couple of hundred dollars on an ivory dress I can't see myself mucking it up with sand. And I will NOT wear an above the knee dress. So that cheap version is out of the questions.
I could go with a park to save on cost and I would like to have an outside ceremony BUT I want the option to have it inside if the weather goes sour. so that means paying for a venue which will cost a ton of money. I am hoping to get some sort of a package deal with the ceremony and food and flowers. But again money money money.
I think we have the music and photographer under our belt (well maybe the photographer I still want a professional there instead of student).
I was also thinking about maybe having the wedding on a cruise or on a boat. I just don;t know how many of our friends would be able to be there if we did that. Not to mention I have like NO ONE to invite. I think max my list of people who I am inviting to the wedding is like 10.. maybe..
Angie
Mom
George
Angie's Mom
Angie's Older Brother
Angie's Younger Brother (maybe)
and all those minus George and Angie's little brother MIGHT have a +1 added to it.
I was thinking about inviting Attumn too but she never really comes through at the end so I think I will leave her out of the list.
I don't even know how many people Curtis wants to invite, I really don't feel like having girl's he has had a crush on/messed around with/or dated at my wedding. I know I will probably have to make an exception or two but meh... We both deserve to have a good time at the wedding after all.
But it doesn't matter how many people are going to go IF we have no where to have it.
And call me finicky but I do NOT want to have it at someones house. Or god forbid at our apartment complex.
I still don't know how I am going to raise money for this wedding.
NOT on the beach, I am well aware I live in Florida and the coast line is beautiful and blah blah blah, but if I am going to spend a couple of hundred dollars on an ivory dress I can't see myself mucking it up with sand. And I will NOT wear an above the knee dress. So that cheap version is out of the questions.
I could go with a park to save on cost and I would like to have an outside ceremony BUT I want the option to have it inside if the weather goes sour. so that means paying for a venue which will cost a ton of money. I am hoping to get some sort of a package deal with the ceremony and food and flowers. But again money money money.
I think we have the music and photographer under our belt (well maybe the photographer I still want a professional there instead of student).
I was also thinking about maybe having the wedding on a cruise or on a boat. I just don;t know how many of our friends would be able to be there if we did that. Not to mention I have like NO ONE to invite. I think max my list of people who I am inviting to the wedding is like 10.. maybe..
Angie
Mom
George
Angie's Mom
Angie's Older Brother
Angie's Younger Brother (maybe)
and all those minus George and Angie's little brother MIGHT have a +1 added to it.
I was thinking about inviting Attumn too but she never really comes through at the end so I think I will leave her out of the list.
I don't even know how many people Curtis wants to invite, I really don't feel like having girl's he has had a crush on/messed around with/or dated at my wedding. I know I will probably have to make an exception or two but meh... We both deserve to have a good time at the wedding after all.
But it doesn't matter how many people are going to go IF we have no where to have it.
And call me finicky but I do NOT want to have it at someones house. Or god forbid at our apartment complex.
I still don't know how I am going to raise money for this wedding.
Stresses, Dresses
So I think I'm starting to take my stress out on Curtis because of the lack of money we have for the wedding. Poor guy I know he is trying but its like I just can't be satisfied. He is selling his Transformers and what not but then he goes and buys a book he will not need until next semester. I know he says he is doing it to get a head start but really I think he could be getting a much better deal on all of his books if he bought it a little later and ANYWHERE else besides the school book store. In the mean time I feel like the bad guy because lately its like I have been bitching at him about every little red cent he spends.
Really I think he needs to get a different job that is more pay and has a set amount of hours. At least that way we know exactly how much money is coming in for every pay check and there isn't this oh god am I going to get 10 hours next week or 25... And I know the hours are not his fault but still I just feel like he needs to let go of GameStop and see if maybe there are better opportunities out there for him.
I really do feel like a whiny brat.
I am trying to get a part time job to pay for everything in the mean time but really I just want to be lazy. Something needs to light a fire under my butt too and get going with my ebay sales god only knows those clothes will not be in style forever and some I probably already just need to get rid of. I just can't seem to get motivated about anything lately, and I don't know why. I'm not sure if its just because things look bleak or if its because I am worried I will lose my job and I know I will need to sell my clothes at that time for collateral or what.
On top of everything else my mother has been no help at all with the wedding. I tried to call her on her birthday and the next day but no such luck. I didn't have the money to send her flowers so I don't know if she is pissed, I guess I could have sent her a card I, again was just being lazy about it.
On a more positive note, I found a dress I like and a couple of webistes that are willing to sell the dress for like 80% less than the retail cost which is $2,145.
A picture of the dress can be found here:
http://www.demetriosbride.com/us/index.php?page=collection_ilissa&styleID=2644
and a much cheaper place to buy the dress can be found here:
http://www.dresstimes.com/home.php
Another place I want to check out more dresses is here:
http://www.preownedweddingdresses.com/
Really I think he needs to get a different job that is more pay and has a set amount of hours. At least that way we know exactly how much money is coming in for every pay check and there isn't this oh god am I going to get 10 hours next week or 25... And I know the hours are not his fault but still I just feel like he needs to let go of GameStop and see if maybe there are better opportunities out there for him.
I really do feel like a whiny brat.
I am trying to get a part time job to pay for everything in the mean time but really I just want to be lazy. Something needs to light a fire under my butt too and get going with my ebay sales god only knows those clothes will not be in style forever and some I probably already just need to get rid of. I just can't seem to get motivated about anything lately, and I don't know why. I'm not sure if its just because things look bleak or if its because I am worried I will lose my job and I know I will need to sell my clothes at that time for collateral or what.
On top of everything else my mother has been no help at all with the wedding. I tried to call her on her birthday and the next day but no such luck. I didn't have the money to send her flowers so I don't know if she is pissed, I guess I could have sent her a card I, again was just being lazy about it.
On a more positive note, I found a dress I like and a couple of webistes that are willing to sell the dress for like 80% less than the retail cost which is $2,145.
A picture of the dress can be found here:
http://www.demetriosbride.com/us/index.php?page=collection_ilissa&styleID=2644
and a much cheaper place to buy the dress can be found here:
http://www.dresstimes.com/home.php
Another place I want to check out more dresses is here:
http://www.preownedweddingdresses.com/
The Wedding
I asked Curtis:
to marry me on our 6 month Anniversary at Datz in front of everyone. There is a lot more details then that, but it will have to wait.
to marry me on our 6 month Anniversary at Datz in front of everyone. There is a lot more details then that, but it will have to wait.
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